warrior vs. worrier…

“i love the person i’ve become. because i fought to become her…”

so much truth. am i right ladies {and gents}?! as you {few} readers know, a person’s twenties are a whirlwind of adventure years. the good, the bad, the sometimes very ugly {when you wake up hungover in last night’s makeup, with little minions building a modern day empire inside your ringing brain and your hair is about 50 shades of a hot mess}. we’ve all been there. through the years, you’ve been learning the lessons that will surely bring peace and prosperity into your thirties…{please universe let this be true or i quit}.

i’m no carrie bradshaw, {although my closet wishes we were} i’m not an expert on relationships…come to think of it neither was she. just another unknown aged woman trying to march on through life, while wearing fabulous shoes. but in my limited dating experience i’ve learned some things. in relationships, there is always push and pull. a give and a take. a deposit and a withdrawal. i can assure you, when it comes to commitment in relationships, you should think long and hard about what that truly means before swiping that fancy plastic card. yes, i will now refer to relationships as a bank account. we’ve all heard the metaphor. as a woman working 3 jobs currently to pay off the debts of my mid-twenties life, looking at relationships in terms of finances has become relevant. i am living and breathing it these days. i am still paying off furniture i no longer own that i purchased to furnish my first apartment in the city that i then later sold after having an amazing self-discovery year of travel that left me fabulously nomadic and essentially homeless. yes, i am still paying off gifts, meals, gas and things i bought with and for an ex-boyfriend for a 10 month relationship that was mostly a disappointing waste of time. yes, i am still paying off a quickie mexico vacation i went on with the guy who managed to steal my heart for the last 5 years. perspective ladies. we end up paying for our relationships…even when they’ve ended…we pay for them financially as well as with that {sometimes never ending} tug on our heart strings. don’t get me wrong…i made all those choices, no credit card fraud here, that was alllll me…and i fully intend to keep busting my ass until my debt is paid off and i can be free of those decisions. no regrets. but it puts a deep perspective on the deposits and the withdrawals we make in every aspect of our lives. are we charging things we can’t really afford? are we taking more than we’re giving? do we give more than we ever get? it’s all a matter of perspective. these decisions we make aren’t always temporary. sometimes they cause years of stress and worry…and life is just too damn short to live with worries.

i was asked by my housemate and soul friend recently, “what is your word? you know, that describes you. like in eat pray love.”

without hesitation, i answered, “warrior.” then in true me form followed that up with an explanation of how answering that way doesn’t make me overly confident. “not in a cocky sense. but i just feel like it’s my word.”

my twenties have made me a warrior. of life and of love. i’ve learned the lessons, walked through the fire and survived the battles between my head and my heart. as i embark on the anticipation of a new decade, i want a great love. a love that stands on the front lines of the war next to me. a man strong enough to break down my armor…instead of being the reason i put up my shield.

in order to be a warrior, we must also make mistakes…the key element to surviving the choices we make in our learning curve years is to actually learn from them. don’t charge what you can’t pay off. don’t deposit when all the other person does is withdraw. push and pull. give and take. at the end of the day, whether you’re still up to your designer 4″ heels in credit card debt or rewarding yourself with some vino for paying off some debts of your lessons past, be a warrior. stand on the front lines of your own life. take pride in your strength as a woman. a woman who has survived heartbreak, let downs, breakdowns, mistakes, bad jobs, bad choices, broken cars, debt, stress…L I F E! you are a warrior. i am a warrior. and when 30 comes knocking, we’ll be ready to give our new decade a run for its money.

xx

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photo credit: the interwebs

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