out of the rabbit hole…

“if i had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn’t. and contrary wise, what is, it wouldn’t be. and what it wouldn’t be, it would. you see?”

i do tend to live in a world of my own, but the above is also the world we are all currently existing in already.  it’s spot on.  because the world has literally gone to nonsense.  we thrive on it.  we feed off of the double standard, we get drunk on the contradictions, we bring ridiculousness to a whole new level and we actually f*cking love it.  in life, love, politics, education, business, social media hell and even fashion.  we walk around in the shoes we choose each day whether they be sneakers or stilettos and with each step, we tread on absolute, bloody, blasphemous nonsense.

why?  because we move too fast, trust too easily, fall too hard and feel too deeply.  or we move too slow, judge too quickly, dive into shallow water and choose to be numb and blind…and either way we are missing out.  it’s like the zombie apocalypse has already happened.  we’re actually living in it now…we’re just too distracted by looking down at our “smart” phones to notice.  we are the zombies…but in normal everyday wear and we’ve perfected the art of contouring so we can cover up the scars on our faces and appear to be normal.

we allow the wrong jobs to take up 5 out of our 7 days a week, work us to the point where we earn the vacation time, but can never afford to take the bloody trip…financially or because we aren’t willing to risk being buried in catch up work when we return with a tan and lame souveniers. we give our hearts too openly to the wrong people, give our bodies too easily to the have my cake and eat it too person, believe in the undeserving beings who trick us into thinking they are who we think they are…or who we wish they could be.  take it from me, never trust a mushroom dressed in drag to look like a cupcake…you’ll be let down.  when are we going to stop being zombies?  when will we stop being blind to our own lives and start living out our true purpose?  not just in matters of the heart, but in all things…ALL THE DAMN THINGS!  when will i stop giving the wrong people the benefit of the doubt?  when will i refuse to share my heart and mind with anybody less than i deserve? in my romantic relationships, friendships, everythingships?  the answer for me is, today.  right now.  is there another time?  no.  it’s now.  the time is right f*cking now.

i took my rose colored glasses off very recently and i can finally see and feel clearly.  for now, i’m choosing anger because it’s long overdue and i’ve earned it…don’t worry, i’m taking it with a side of positivity…as always.  once i get through that stage of grief, inevitably forgiveness and acceptance will follow along with their fluffy tails pouncing behind them and we can all hop out of the rabbit hole together into new light.

i’m double taking some dad advice that he gave me last year…ironically around this same time and surrounding the same human…when i was in australian winter in queensland.  now i’m in my washington hometown summer…enter life lesson #2,983,624 {but who’s counting?}…and i’m bringing the lesson back to the surface to get me through today and the ones to follow.  and i’m gifting it to you, because you’re a bad ass survivor:

when you come to a point in life where your heart is really hurt…where you’re feeling a bit broken; i hope you’ll allow the experience to break your heart open instead of closed.

take comfort in your process.  refuse to settle for mediocrity and contradictions.  walk your damn talk.  double standards aren’t a solid platform to stand on…rock your platforms {yes, they are still in} on a foundation of your own making.  eliminate the people who will take from you and never give you enough.  leave the door closed and padlocked to those who will not understand your heart and how it beats in time with your passionate soul.  resist being a zombie in your real life and have a marathon of “the walking dead” instead.  embrace your own little world.  and for f*ck sakes look up and make eye contact once in awhile.  and as you climb out of the rabbit hole…take the lessons and eat them up, leave the nonsense to evaporate out of your glass and fill it with optimism and hope instead. and leave some room for whiskey…always leave room for whiskey.

as you take a long sip, swallow the beautiful madness of this crazy, confusing, incredible life…and know you’re not alone.

cheers! xx

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photo credit: the interwebs

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